My re-diagnosis in August 2020 of Invasive DCIS was a complete shock to my system. I can still remember Dr. Ash’s words on that fateful day. “Kemi, the biopsy came back as having cancer in it.”It’s only one lymph node and it’s at a very early stage and it hasn’t started to spread. We detected it early so I’m going to advise you not to worry or stress while I send you for some tests, which will help us determine a course of treatment. All your other scans came back as clear so we are good.”

Since that statement in early August 2020, I can honestly say that my body and I, this temple that I have taken such good care of, have gone through so, so much. Like one of my sisters once said “you have been through hell and back Kemi.”

At the end of the first ordeal, I was sure I would not be able to go through it all again God forbid a reoccurrence presents itself. I didn’t think I would be strong enough but somehow I have managed. Once the realization sunk in, with tears I prayed and fasted then decided I would take each day at a time- although I was NOT looking forward to what was to come.

Now, as I slowly edge towards the end of this last preventative chemotherapy and antibodies treatment, the hospital visits are becoming less frequent, as are the infusions now only once every three weeks. The quarterly injections are four times a year for the next five years.

A visit to Guy’s Out Patient’s department for port blood followed by an Onco consultation then two days later an infusion. The side effects, while still not gone, have become less severe while my body recuperates and finds a way of coping while still having some poison infused into it.

I found that my thought process has somehow changed. Throughout all of my treatments and frequent hospital visits, I had been actively working on personal projects. Now, with more time on my hands and not constantly nursing my body back to health, I feel more relaxed yet anxious.

Anxious? Yes. Anxious for the reality of all the plans I have made for the future. This NEW future will now finally unfold and I have to decide on where it starts. rebeKemi is one of the pet projects I constantly worked on while having treatment, dealing with the different side-effects and surgery.

I always knew and felt it: this cancer wasn’t going to be the end of me. Truth be known, my derriere has been kicked to oblivion and back. Through it all, I kept writing things down on my to-do list.

I have been asking myself if I’m ready, willing, and able to execute everything on THAT to-do list and the answer has always been yes, yes, and yes.

Bring it on! I’m not afraid, or as afraid as I used to be. I’m anxiously ready to get over the final hurdle of this preventative treatment, which carries on till the beginning of next year. It actually works out perfectly, because I can start early February 2022 with a clean slate.

My view of the world and of people differs now, and I’m more certain than ever who I’m ready to put my life on the line for. I’m open to growth, I’m open to being loved and to give love. I’m open to motherhood, I’m open to friends yet to be discovered, I’m open to exploration, I’m open to a lot of laughter. I’m open and ready for abundance from the four corners of the universe..